Ah yes, Table (III.E.) Special.
I am a huge huge fan of the Dungeon Masters Guide (1979 edition). I got my copy in, I suppose, 1981, and I am convinced that it is one of the great works of imagination out there. Not just the best RPG book (which it is), but just a great creation in general. The scope of it is vast, the rules are deep and strange… It’s an amazing, breathtaking piece of work. I loved it as a teenager and to this day, even through over 30 years of not playing any RPG’s, I find it to be irresistible to page through and reread. I just fricking love it. If anyone ever says “Oh, ad&d 2nd ed, or D&D (any edition from OD&D up to 5e) is better than AD&D 1e!” I know that they’re wrong. Sure the game might be better, but the existence of the original DMG all by itself makes up for any shortcomings of the game. I love it. I’m not going to wax on here about GG, who is the sole credited author, because we all know that he didn’t come up with all of it on his own… So I’ll just stick to the book itself.
Of all the wonderment I get out of its 230ish pages though, the part that stands out the most, my all time favorite bit… favorite to read and favorite to ponder, is the “Treasure (Random Determination)” section on Artifacts and Relics (that would be the already mention Table (III.E. Special) on page 124, and the descriptions of the items themselves (pages 155-164).
“Each artifact or relic is a singular thing of potent powers and possibly strange side effects as well.”
Note that to get one of these, by the tables, each time you find a random Miscellaneous Magic item, there is a 5% chance that item will be from table one, and table one gives you a 1% chance to roll on the Special table. So, in essence one out of every 2,000 misc magic items you find would be an Artifact or Relic. Which is probably too high a percentage and I would imagine that unless you are dealing with the hoard of a dragon or some similarly powerful creature, these should probably only be found when specifically placed into the campaign by the DM.
Homework #1: if anyone actually reads this, and has encountered one of these in a campaign (either by being the DM and putting one in, or being player who managed to encounter one) I would love to hear your story of how it was found and utilized and whatever effects on the game it may have had.
So, for those who don’t know, here are the basics. These artifacts and relics are singular magic items that are strongly tied to a specific person of great power, sometimes even being part of that person (hence, relics). In the item descriptions, each of them will have a specific power (sometimes that power is just a bad effect on someone who touches it). In addition, though, they have additional powers that are not specific to them. In fact, they aren’t even set. The determination of those additional power are rolled for when the item is discovered. Each item has between one and seventy of these extra powers, each of which are selected from six different tables: Table I: Minor Benign Powers, Table II: Major Benign Powers, Table III: Minor Malevolent Effects, Table IV: Major Malevolent Effects, Table V: Prime Powers, and Table VI: Side Effects. These vary from powers such as: Cast a Light spell (Table I), to Cast a Death Ray with no saving throw (Table V), to User cannot touch, or be touched by, metal (Table VI).
There are 28+ of these items (depending on how you count them) so I’m not going to go into them all… But I wanted to chat up some of my favorites…
I have always been intrigued by the real-life idea of relics (Saint Thomas’s Finger, Buddha’s Tooth, Saint Anthony’s Tongue…) so it’s not really a surprise to me that my favorites of the AD&D Artifacts and Relics are body parts…
Eye of Vecna. This is my fav. “It appears to be an agate until it is placed in an empty eye socket of a living character.” Oh! Me first! Let me try! It’s not the most powerful item, but with six powers, it could turn out pretty good. Plus, you can never take it out (short of dying) and it gives you infravision and ultravision! Oh and, eventually, it turns you evil.
The Hand of Vecna. Yep, another good one. “appears to be a mummified extremity, a blackened and shriveled hand, possibly from a burned body”. So if you take this shriveled up and burned thing and press it against your forearm (assuming that you’ve already misplaced one of your own hands) it’ll just graft itself on to you. This one again turns you evil, and it has a lot more powers (22 in fact!), that you enact by extending, curling, or whatevering [SIC] the fingers of the hand in different combinations. Radical. Totally radical.
Next, one can’t discuss Relics without mentioning the absolute coolest, and weirdest, of them all. The Teeth of Dahlver-Nar. Good ol’ Dahlver was so flipping powerful that every single one of his teeth contained magical power of it’s own. To try it out, you just need to find a tooth, and having a missing tooth to put it in place of… The tooth will permanently (until death, of course) graft itself into your jaw. Now it would be fun to have one, especially if it had some neat power… But if you have a run of 8 teeth you will gain two extra powers. Yes, that is two powers from each group of 8 teeth, in addition to the powers from the individual teeth. But we’re not done yet! Making it even better, there are bonuses for having 16 of them, and also for having all of them! So all you have to do it find all 32 teeth, remove all of your teeth, and put them in their places and you’ll gain (are you ready?) 41 Powers! All right flipping there is your mouth! Now that’s a jaw to die for! I like to imagine a campaign in which some lunatic PC or NPC is on a quest to find every one of those teeth…
And, finally, as a break from body parts, I’ll mention one other Artifact, and also roll some random powers for it…
Johydee’s Mask: This mask covers the wearers entire face and enables them to assume the likeness of any human or human-like creature. It also prevents all forms of mind contact, detection, or attack, and renders the wearer immune to gaze attacks (such as from a Basilisk or Medusa). As a bonus, it comes with 4 powers, let’s roll on the tables to see what they are!
Two from Table I: Bless (by touch), Detect Evil/Good when held. Okay, nothing crazy, but helpful.
One from table II: Cast Wall of Ice 2 times/day. That could be helpful
One from Table VI (uh oh): Charisma of possessor is reduced to 3 as long as the item is owned. I guess it must be a pretty unpleasant mask.
And for your perusing delights, here is the full list:
Axe of The Dwarvish Lords
Baba Yaga’s Hut
Codex of the Infinite Planes
Crown of Might (there are three of these: one good, one evil, and one neutral)
Crystal of the Ebon Flame
Cup and talisman of Al’Akbar
Eye of Vecna
The Hand of Vecna
Heward’s Mystical Organ
Horn of Change
Invulnerable Coat of Arnd
Iron Flask of Tuerny the Merciless
Jacinth of Inestimable Beauty
Johydee’s Mask
Kuroth’s Quill
Mace of Cuthbert
Machine of Lum the Mad
Mighty Servant of Leuk-O
Orb of Dragonkind (there are eight of these)
Orb of Might (partners to the Crowns, there are three of these are well)
Queen Ehlissa’s Marvelous Nightingale
Recorder of Ye’Cind
Ring of Gaxx
Rod of Seven Parts
Scepter of Might (counterparts to the Crowns and Orbs, so there are also three of these)
Sword of Kas
The Teeth of Dahlver-Nar
Throne of the Gods
Wand of Orcus
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